Several Thousand Trips Home


I think too often people sell themselves short. Why do we allow others to have such an impact on our thoughts and emotions but so hard a time empowering ourselves? I have spent a great deal of time in the past few years adjusting my mind and heart to some self-empowering ideas. I have discussed these ideas with some people and the more I do, the more truth I find. I mean truth is such a relative term, so I guess I should say the more of myself I invest into this idea. Some of the concepts I am embracing, not considering and not exploring, but actually living: the only person who can hurt me, is me. Life is a compilation of thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences. Each thought, feeling, emotion and experience is entangled with another and if separated we can distinguish the endless web of choices we make in the millions of solitary moments that make up our days.

I was thinking about the concept of a cyclic life. While life in its entirety comes full circle, I find that days, minutes, moments, conversations and experiences do as well. Life is beautiful in that regard. If life wasn’t cyclic, consider the subsequent result. Why would we need a memory? Why would we have to learn anything? I love when random experiences in my life help me understand a concept. A few years ago I was in Chicago just walking and exploring the city for several hours. I told a friend of mine just to pick me up wherever I ended up. I started thinking what if I just kept walking away from where I came my whole life. I would not need to remember what was behind me for future reference because I would never be back. I would not pay attention to street signs or calculate how many blocks I had traveled because it would not be useful information if my destination was ahead of me indefinitely. Instead, in a cyclic life, we know the ultimate destination. So in essence, our destination is always behind us.

With this in mind, it makes sense that we have memories and we carry people with us in our hearts and minds. This way we can recognize our own thoughts, emotions, etc when we experience either the same or the opposite. We have a measuring stick for our journey “home”. This is why we learn, too. So when we travel a similar path, we know the best way. If you view each moment in your life as a fork in the road, you realize that while you are blessed with a choice, you will end up in the same place. It’s simply a matter of when you “return” to that place, whether or not you will remember the scenery.

In other words, you can take beauty from every path and you can go through life hoping that someone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated or you can BE the person who treats yourself that way and be the best example for the people in your life. It’s amazing how this simple realization can be life altering. Even finding beauty in the ugly becomes almost effortless.

As I walked around the city that day, I made up stories in my head of how things came to be and I started thinking how much more I see when I walk alone. I remember I barely spoke at all that day, I just walked. The people all around me taught me things without meaning to. At the end of the day, I was right back where I started, writing a journal entry about my day in a place where nothing was really different but I wasn’t even close to the same as I was when I woke up. Now I’m blogging about a journal entry about a day I spent in Chicago. Reliving the experience. That’s just the epitome of life though. At each street corner I chose which way to walk and which streets to take and which people to pay attention to and which stores to enter and what to look at in each store and then eventually ended up here, writing all this nonsense. Each day is like a mini model of life as a whole. Several thousand trips “home”. The stories you tell when you walk in the door are entirely up to you.

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